Mothers husband said abusive stuff
5 answers /
Last post: 02/02/2024 at 9:32 pm
Hi everyone,
I am new to Netmums, so I apologise if I get things wrong.
So I overheard a conversation my mother ans eldest daughter of 25 were having regarding my youngest daughter aged 15. It eventually finished with him wanting to put a bullet through her head as he feels she is useless, attention seeking.
I was part of a video call when I heard this, the stuff he came out with could only have come from my eldest d.
Neither my mother or daughter said anything or stood up for my youngest.
I was heart broken and horrified so I let out some obscenities at him.
I put the phone down and sobbed. Once I had calmed myself, I called my eldest back and told her that she had to take responsibility for her actions, I have asked her not to talk to them about my family. Whilst I was having it out with my daughter, my poor youngest heard from upstairs.
She's already under camhs due to self harm and attempted suicide. I'm so worried about her and feel really low myself.
What would you all have done in this situation and is there anything else I can do to help my daughter.
Thank you all for reading.
😒
Hi CroftyJ0805
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. How awful for you and your daughter to have overheard this. There is no excuses or reason for anyone to say something so mean but well done for standing up for her and holding your ground. It sounds like you have have been really clear with your eldest about your boundaries and what you consider to be respectful. Do you think you could have a conversation with the others about this and set rules about how you expect them to behave towards your children? How was your daughter today? I wonder if it might be nice for you both to do something together, just to give her some of your time and reassure her of how you feel? Do you think it would be helpful to let CAMHS know what has happened if you think it has impacted her?
CroftyJ0805, do you have anyone that you can lean on for support too? Does anyone know that you are feeling low? Would you consider chatting to a GP about this? It can be exhausting caring for a child who is struggling with their mental health - you might find this article from MIND a helpful read: Caring for someone with a mental health problem - Mind
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon but please come back to us if you would like to chat some more.
Catherine
Hi CroftyJ0805
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. How awful for you and your daughter to have overheard this. There is no excuses or reason for anyone to say something so mean but well done for standing up for her and holding your ground. It sounds like you have have been really clear with your eldest about your boundaries and what you consider to be respectful. Do you think you could have a conversation with the others about this and set rules about how you expect them to behave towards your children? How was your daughter today? I wonder if it might be nice for you both to do something together, just to give her some of your time and reassure her of how you feel? Do you think it would be helpful to let CAMHS know what has happened if you think it has impacted her?
CroftyJ0805, do you have anyone that you can lean on for support too? Does anyone know that you are feeling low? Would you consider chatting to a GP about this? It can be exhausting caring for a child who is struggling with their mental health - you might find this article from MIND a helpful read: Caring for someone with a mental health problem - Mind
Hopefully some of our lovely community will be along soon but please come back to us if you would like to chat some more.
Catherine
Hi Catherine,
Thank you for your reply.
I called Camhs the next day and forwarded on the email I sent to camhs to the safeguarding team at the school too.
I cannot approach my mother's husband as he won't even let me see my mum or visit her at the house I grew up in. I will look into MIND to see what support they can offer me, and my daughter had a,meeting set soon, so she can discuss it with them.
My daughter and I have spent some time together, also with her other Nanna who is quote protective of her, which she likes.
I just can't believe a human being can say such a vile thing about a child.
Thanks again.
Janine
Hi Catherine,
Thank you for your reply.
I called Camhs the next day and forwarded on the email I sent to camhs to the safeguarding team at the school too.
I cannot approach my mother's husband as he won't even let me see my mum or visit her at the house I grew up in. I will look into MIND to see what support they can offer me, and my daughter had a,meeting set soon, so she can discuss it with them.
My daughter and I have spent some time together, also with her other Nanna who is quote protective of her, which she likes.
I just can't believe a human being can say such a vile thing about a child.
Thanks again.
Janine
Hello and I feel sorry for you and People on this Planet doesn't even know how to Treat People that Suppose to Care about their own family members and if I was in your place I would talk to my daughter and try to get some help for her and keep that Man away from you and your family and he doesn't need to be around you and your family if he is doing these things or even thinking about hurting anyone in your family
Hello and I feel sorry for you and People on this Planet doesn't even know how to Treat People that Suppose to Care about their own family members and if I was in your place I would talk to my daughter and try to get some help for her and keep that Man away from you and your family and he doesn't need to be around you and your family if he is doing these things or even thinking about hurting anyone in your family
HI Aaron,
Thank you for your reply. Wish I could leave the area, so it's not a constant reminder.
Best wishes
Janine
