Fear I can't protect my daughter.
2 answers /
Last post: 25/02/2024 at 8:58 am
I'm not too sure how to start this, but today after an ordeal I had a sudden realisation that I'm not in fact invinsible.
We have the most wonderful 14 month old she's such a happy little girl, and I count my blessings everyday how lucky we are to have her.
Today however, against my better mum judgement, we went for dinner in a busy city restaurant for my father in laws birthday. She did so well eating her chips, reading her books and watching an episode of 2 of Bluey but she got a bit antsy after dinner.
Despite my warnings and after a huge meal my in laws wanted dessert, so my daughter and I started practicing walking. She's very near to doing it so it's our only past time we had left.
Anyway, things got out of hand so I popped her in the pram and set off walking to allow other diners to eat in peace. Unfortunately this is where it all went wrong.
The streets were full with a lot of drinkers and people out for a Saturday night. Baring in mind this is before 5pm so I thought we wouldn't be like this. I'll admit I was wrong here. But regardless I found myself wandering the streets trying to calm an over tired upset baby. My Husband and his family took a good while to finally join me at the tram stop so I could go home and truthfully I was scared.
I had a screaming baby, no coat, 2 bags clearly visible and whilst nothing happened, I found myself so scared. I just wanted to get out and get my daughter out of there.
My point is, how did any of you get through it? That sudden realisation that you are in fact quite vulnerable and god forbid something happened, you're pretty darn defenceless.
It just keeps now running through my mind that I can't protect my daughter. It's making me feel like a failure and everyone I don't know is a threat. Its driving me crazy and affecting me trying to get to sleep.
Can anyone share some advice? I'm sure i can't be alone with this anxiety?
If not, thank you for taking the time to read this. You're all doing a great job if you need to hear that today. X
Hi Emma
I'm Catherine, one of the Parent Supporters here at Netmums. Thanks for sharing with us. How are you feeling this morning?
Emma, I'm sure lots of our community will empathise with how you feel. Parenthood can feel like a huge shift and you naturally notice all the potential worries, dangers and what ifs. If you find, however, that this anxiety is making you feel like you are constantly thinking about it or perhaps avoiding situations and scenarios which you previously would have enjoyed, then it would be worth having a chat to your GP and letting them know what is going on. Do you think you could do that Emma? They may be able to signpost you to some local supports or perhaps some counselling, if you think that may be helpful. You may also find some of the info and resources on MIND a helpful read. This article has some suggestions of self help and management techniques worth trying if you begin to notice those feelings rising again - here is the link : Anxiety and panic attacks - Mind
Hopefully some of our community will be along soon to offer support but do come back to us if you would like to chat some more.
Catherine
