Absent father over 8 years. Moving abroad

12 answers /

Last post: 16/02/2024 at 2:12 pm

KAY K(63)
Kay K(63)
09/02/2024 at 10:22 pm

Hello ladies and gents


After many years of consideration, I have decided to move back to my country where I have my own home.


Since my blessing was born 8 years ago with no contact from father i have been through allot with raising my child alone, struggling financially etc.. I have sold my property and moved in with my dad and bought a place for me and my son.


I decided to contact my solicitor to make sure all was OK to take him and was feeling all confident. Solicitor said that I need consent letter signed by him. OK.... but he has already confirmed in writing in a consent order that he wants nothing to do with child. Yes the Solicitor said this was added in the financial consent order, I need a separate order. Any way I have now set up another meeting and made clear that this should of been sorted out by them years ago!! Clearly my head was all over the place 8 years ago getting my head round being left 6 months pregnant and raising a child alone


This is B.S money making system. It just does not make sense to me. After I received my Absolute, that's it no other explanation.

0
ANONYMOUS
Anonymous
10/02/2024 at 12:39 am

He most likely won't respond and cam move away but I'm sure no contact after years anyway u can move away

1
KAY K(63)
Kay K(63)
10/02/2024 at 8:11 am
In answer to
Anonymous

He most likely won't respond and cam move away but I'm sure no contact after years anyway u can move away

Hi


Thank you for your response Mark πŸ™ The law should change about this so the left behind parents can move on and make there children's lives happier. I think the best thing I did was keep my surname and I also gave my surname to my child. I have an appointment on Tuesday I will update all.

1
ANONYMOUS
Anonymous
11/02/2024 at 12:00 am
In answer to
Kay K(63)

Hi


Thank you for your response Mark πŸ™ The law should change about this so the left behind parents can move on and make there children's lives happier. I think the best thing I did was keep my surname and I also gave my surname to my child. I have an appointment on Tuesday I will update all.

Fingers crossed I'm sure no contact after 5 years he loses all rights anyway my daughters dad hasn't seen her for about 9 years she's 12. His choice I changed her surname and everything without his say as he's an absent parent doesn't pay child maintenance nothing x I hope u find answers and u can move away and start fresh some "parents" /doner don't deserve kids and we shouldn't have too have so many fights when they chose to be absent ( I'm a mum) but user name is my partners by way good luck at appt fill us in xx

1
KAY K(63)
Kay K(63)
11/02/2024 at 3:51 am
In answer to
Anonymous

Fingers crossed I'm sure no contact after 5 years he loses all rights anyway my daughters dad hasn't seen her for about 9 years she's 12. His choice I changed her surname and everything without his say as he's an absent parent doesn't pay child maintenance nothing x I hope u find answers and u can move away and start fresh some "parents" /doner don't deserve kids and we shouldn't have too have so many fights when they chose to be absent ( I'm a mum) but user name is my partners by way good luck at appt fill us in xx

Hi


Thank you so much πŸ™


My ex has never seen him sadly and i do get asked why isnt he here? What happened? I never bad mouth my ex, i just tell him that he did not want to be with me anymore and it is not his(my childs) fault. Yes its not fair what we have to go through sadly πŸ˜’


Thank you again X

1
KAY K(63)
Kay K(63)
14/02/2024 at 9:00 pm
In answer to
Kay K(63)

Hi


Thank you so much πŸ™


My ex has never seen him sadly and i do get asked why isnt he here? What happened? I never bad mouth my ex, i just tell him that he did not want to be with me anymore and it is not his(my childs) fault. Yes its not fair what we have to go through sadly πŸ˜’


Thank you again X

Hello friends


Update!


Visited my solicitors office She said they will send a consent order for him to sign. Hopefully he will sign, if not they will send a more forceful letter which will entail court proceedings which he will have no other choice but to fund and also get questioned in court. If he has moved address they will hire an investigator and try to locate him. Ex's solicitors have now closed down so just wondering if he doesn't sign, how he will be explaining his side of the story to a new solicitor when they read that he is asked for a DNA test :-) the whole truth will come out and he has also signed a Court consent order stating that he does not accept that the child is his and does not want to be involved with his upbringing. Although I still feel a little nervous, i feel that he will have no choice but to sign the consent order.


To all those Fathers who fight for there kids, you guys are amazing and deserve the title but there are also total narcissists out there who really need to give up the title and leave the Mother to do what is best for there child.


Please seek advice ladies & Gents if needed, do not handle these situations alone! I know we are all thinking about our expenses but sure we can do a monthly thing instead of paying the full wack.


The law on these situations really need to change! Why should someone else be paying for someone else's children? Absent fathers/Mothers should be punished i.e government should be taking money directly from there bank accounts not the poor tax payers! That will teach them a lesson or 2. Also after an amount of years being absent there rights should automatically be terminated Mother or Father.


My dad was a single parent to 3 girls yep there was 3 of us! and he did extremely well and so very proud of my dad. Himself and I were totally unaware I would actually end up being a single parent. Sht happens to the best of us :-)


Have a lovely evening guys and will keep you up dated X

4

Pssst!

Get the day’s best CHAT sent straight to your inbox

I have read and understood Netmums' Privacy Notice and Terms & Conditions

SARAH C(200)
Sarah C(200)
15/02/2024 at 3:05 pm
In answer to
Kay K(63)

Hello friends


Update!


Visited my solicitors office She said they will send a consent order for him to sign. Hopefully he will sign, if not they will send a more forceful letter which will entail court proceedings which he will have no other choice but to fund and also get questioned in court. If he has moved address they will hire an investigator and try to locate him. Ex's solicitors have now closed down so just wondering if he doesn't sign, how he will be explaining his side of the story to a new solicitor when they read that he is asked for a DNA test :-) the whole truth will come out and he has also signed a Court consent order stating that he does not accept that the child is his and does not want to be involved with his upbringing. Although I still feel a little nervous, i feel that he will have no choice but to sign the consent order.


To all those Fathers who fight for there kids, you guys are amazing and deserve the title but there are also total narcissists out there who really need to give up the title and leave the Mother to do what is best for there child.


Please seek advice ladies & Gents if needed, do not handle these situations alone! I know we are all thinking about our expenses but sure we can do a monthly thing instead of paying the full wack.


The law on these situations really need to change! Why should someone else be paying for someone else's children? Absent fathers/Mothers should be punished i.e government should be taking money directly from there bank accounts not the poor tax payers! That will teach them a lesson or 2. Also after an amount of years being absent there rights should automatically be terminated Mother or Father.


My dad was a single parent to 3 girls yep there was 3 of us! and he did extremely well and so very proud of my dad. Himself and I were totally unaware I would actually end up being a single parent. Sht happens to the best of us :-)


Have a lovely evening guys and will keep you up dated X

Hope it all works out for you.

You're right the law is wrong.

I think in America they "garnish" their wages and sometimes remove driving licence and jail them if they don't pay don't think they can apply for loans or mortgages either if they in arrears that's what I've picked up from Judge Judy show ha ha

1
KAY K(63)
Kay K(63)
15/02/2024 at 6:03 pm
In answer to
Sarah C(200)

Hope it all works out for you.

You're right the law is wrong.

I think in America they "garnish" their wages and sometimes remove driving licence and jail them if they don't pay don't think they can apply for loans or mortgages either if they in arrears that's what I've picked up from Judge Judy show ha ha

Thank you Sarah X


Yes i think UK need to introduce a more tougher law.

1
KAREN L(226)
Karen L(226)
15/02/2024 at 7:02 pm
In answer to
Kay K(63)

Thank you Sarah X


Yes i think UK need to introduce a more tougher law.

In the UK… the mothers get the blame for everything - even if it’s nothing at all to do with her, sadly

1
HERETOBROWSE
Heretobrowse
15/02/2024 at 8:24 pm

I'm confused as to why he put himself down on the birth certificate in the first place...

0
Can't find your answer?
KAY K(63)
Kay K(63)
15/02/2024 at 8:37 pm
In answer to
Heretobrowse

I'm confused as to why he put himself down on the birth certificate in the first place...

Hi


We were married when the child was born. I told the registra what happened and she said yes im so sorry but as your still married his name must be added to the childs birth certificate. So we got married in may and he left me in june 😞 October a month after my son was born his solicitor sent me a letter stating that ex wants to annul marriage grounds of the marriage was not consummated.

0
MELISSA P(141)
Melissa P(141)
16/02/2024 at 2:12 pm
In answer to
Anonymous

Fingers crossed I'm sure no contact after 5 years he loses all rights anyway my daughters dad hasn't seen her for about 9 years she's 12. His choice I changed her surname and everything without his say as he's an absent parent doesn't pay child maintenance nothing x I hope u find answers and u can move away and start fresh some "parents" /doner don't deserve kids and we shouldn't have too have so many fights when they chose to be absent ( I'm a mum) but user name is my partners by way good luck at appt fill us in xx

Hey,


can I ask how you managed to change the surname without having to get consent?

0

Netmums Newsletters

Yes, please! I want the best parenting news around

*By signing up you accept Netmums' Privacy Policy and Terms & Conditions.