100 hilarious jokes for kids

Last modified on Tuesday 2 May 2023

two brothers wearing sunglasses, lying on grass and laughing

Get them giggling with our bumper selection of family-friendly jokes for kids.

Kids love a good joke. They love telling them, hearing them, making them up, forgetting them, messing up the punchline … no matter how many times we hear them, they're still cute though.

If your little comedian wants some new jokes to add to their repertoire, try this selection of family-friendly gags.

We've divided them into categories including pirate jokes, animal jokes, silly jokes, school jokes, football and rude jokes (come on bogies are funny). Younger kids will love the knock knock selection, too.

Want some more? Try out I'm Joking: 500+ Original Jokes for Kids available here at Amazon.

Little jokers might also like this practical joke kit – see more details here at the Works.

Don't forget to share your personal faves with us in the forum thread below.

Joke: What's a cat's favourite colour? Purrple

The best animal jokes for kids

Most kids love animals, so it's no surprise there are loads of family-friendly animal jokes out there. Try out some of these rib ticklers for size.

1. What's a cat's favourite colour?


2. Why do ducks make good detectives?

They always quack the case

3. What kind of fish only swims at night?

A starfish

4. What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador

5. Where do cows go when they want to watch a film?

The moo-vies

6. What part of a fish weighs the most? 

The scales

7. What do you call a bear with no ears?


8. What do elephants wear to go swimming?


9. Why couldn't the pony sing Happy Birthday?

Because she was a little hoarse

10. What do cows read?


11. What kind of key opens a banana?

A mon-key

12. What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer

13. What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

14. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

They have two left feet

15. Where do horse live?


16. Why wouldn't the prawn share his treasure?

Because he was a little shellfish

17. What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice krispies

18. What do cats wear to bed?


19. Why did the pony get sent to his room?

He couldn't stop horsing around

20. What do you get if you cross a cow and a trampoline?


21. Where do sheep get their hair cut?

The baa baas

22. Why do tigers have stripes?

So they don't get spotted

Joke: knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europ who? No I'm not!

The best knock knock jokes for kids

Knock knock jokes may be irritating for parents but younger kids love them! The repetitive element is appealing and they'll enjoy making up their own nonsensical versions, too.

1. Knock knock

Who's there?


Boo who?

Don't cry, it's just a joke

2. Knock knock

Who's there?


Atch who?

Bless you

3. Knock knock

Who's there?

Cows go

Cows go who?

No silly, cows go MOO!

4. Knock knock

Who's there?

A little old lady

A little old lady who?

I didn't know you could yodel

5. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Spell who?

W. H. O.

6. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Tank who?

You’re welcome

7. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Woo who?

Why are you so excited?

8. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!

9. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Europe who?

No I’m not!

10. Knock knock

Who's there?


Annie who?

Annie body home?

Joke: Why don't you see dinosaurs at Easter? Because they're eggs-tinct

The best dinosaur jokes for kids

Got a kid who's obsessed with dinosaurs? They'll love these dino jokes.

(And if they're totally mad for all things Jurassic, check out these easy budget ideas for dinosaur-themed party bags!)

1. What do you call a dinosaur with glasses?

A Do-you-think-he-sarus

2. What does a Triceratops sit on?

Its tricerabottom

3. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore

4. What did the dinosaur use to build her house?

A dino-saw

5. Why don’t you see dinosaurs at Easter?

Because they're eggs-tinct!

6. What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?

Out of the way!

Joke: why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrhhh!

The best pirate jokes for kids

Who doesn't love a pirate pun? See how many of their own kids can make up using 'Arrrh' as the punchline.

1. Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrhhhhh!

2. Whats a pirate's favourite letter of the alphabet?

The C

3. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey

4. What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing, it just waved

5. How does a pirate cut the sea in half?

With a sea-saw

Joke: What do you call a smelly fairy? Stinkerbell

The best rude jokes for kids

If your kids find trumps and bogeys funny (who doesn't?!), you're on to a winner with these cheeky gags.

1. What did one bogey say to the other?

You think you're funny but you're snot

2. Why was Tigger in the bathroom?

He was looking for Pooh

3. What do you call a smelly fairy?


4. What did the nose say to the finger?

Stop picking on me

5. Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed

6. Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing

7. What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?


8. What's the smelliest game in the world?

Top Trumps

Joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9

The best school and maths jokes for kids

No laughing at the back of class!

1. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her pupils were so bright

2. Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

3. What do witches learn at school?


4. What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet

5. Teacher: If i had six oranges in one hand and seven oranges in the other hand, what would I have?

Pupil: Massive hands!

6. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9

7. Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

8. Why is Buzz Lightyear so good at maths?

Because he can count to infinity and beyond

9. What did zero say to eight? 

Nice belt! 

10. Which hand is it better to write with?

Neither, it’s better to write with a pencil!

11. What did one maths book say to the other?

I've got so many problems

12. What's a snake's favourite subject at school?


13. Where do you learn to make ice cream?

Sundae school

14. What do you call a teacher who's always late?

Mister Bus

Joke: How do you talk to a giant? Use big words

The best ghost and monster jokes for kids

You can't beat a good ghoulish gag, don't forget to save some of these for Halloween.

1. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words

2. What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?

I scream

3. What do you call a ghost’s true love?

His ghoul-friend

4. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

5. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

He had no body to dance with

6. Why do vampires seem sick?

They're always coffin

7. Why are ghosts such bad liars?

You can see right through them

8. What do you call a witch who goes on holiday to the seaside?

A sand-witch

Joke: Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she'll let it go

The best silly jokes for kids

There are some real crackers to get kids giggling in this selection of silly jokes.

1. How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?

You rocket!

2. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?

Because she'll let it go

3. What kind of room doesn't have doors?

A mushroom

4. Why didn't the teddy bear want any pudding?

Because he was stuffed

5. What day of the week are most twins born on?


6. Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field

7. Why did the girl throw a clock out of the window?

Because she wanted to see time fly

8. What time should you go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

9. Why did the picture go to prison?

Because it was framed

10. What did one eye say to the other?

There's something between us that smells

11. What did the policeman say to his tummy?

Freeze. You’re under a vest

12. Why did the banana go to the doctors?

It wasn't peeling well

13. What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?

Pick them up and roll them back

14. What did one snowman ask the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots?

15. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree

16. What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

17. What kind of music do balloons hate?


18. What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry

19. How do you throw a space party?

You planet

20. What do you call a reindeer with bad manners?


21. How does a train eat?

It goes chew chew

Joke: Why is Cinderella bad at sport? She always runs away from the ball

The best sport and football jokes for kids

Score a giggle-goal with these sporty-themed jokes.

1. Why is Cinderella bad at sport?

Because she's always running away from the ball

2. Why did the the chicken get a penalty?

For fowl play

3. Why is it so windy at a football match?

There are so many fans

4. What did one tomato say to the other tomato in the running race?


5. What is a ghost's favourite position in football?


6. What is an insect's favourite sport?


Got a joke you need to share or want to hear other parents' best puns? Check out the forum thread below

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